When you and your partner decide to start a family, one of the first questions that may come up is, “How often should we have sex to increase our chances?” The journey to conception can be filled with questions, and here at Tourmaline Collective, we’re here to help you find clarity and support along the way.
Every journey is unique, and while there’s no exact answer for everyone, there are some simple, mindful approaches you can take to increase your chances while staying connected to yourself and your partner.
Understanding the Fertile Window
One of the most empowering things you can do on this journey is to understand your body’s natural rhythms. Typically, a woman’s “fertile window” lasts about six days: the five days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation itself. During this time, the body is at its peak fertility, and having sex every day or every other day during this window can help optimize your chances of conceiving.
For most, ovulation occurs roughly in the middle of the menstrual cycle, though this can vary. To help track your fertile window, you might consider using an ovulation predictor kit, a fertility app, or even just tuning into your body’s natural signs, such as changes in cervical mucus or a slight increase in basal body temperature.
Frequency Recommendations
When trying to conceive, a good rule of thumb is to have sex every 2-3 days throughout your cycle. This approach ensures that sperm are present in the reproductive tract when ovulation occurs, increasing your chances without putting unnecessary stress on your body or relationship.
During your fertile window, you may choose to increase frequency to every day or every other day. However, it’s essential to listen to your body and communicate with your partner about what feels comfortable for both of you. The goal is to stay connected and create a positive experience that fosters intimacy and trust.
Quality Over Quantity
At Tourmaline Collective, we encourage a mindful approach to conception. Sometimes, in the excitement of trying to conceive, there’s a tendency to focus solely on timing and frequency. But it’s equally important to cultivate an environment of relaxation, emotional connection, and joy. Studies suggest that stress can impact fertility, so allowing yourself and your partner the freedom to enjoy the experience is just as valuable as tracking days on the calendar.
When you prioritize emotional closeness and relaxation, your body is more likely to respond positively. Try to keep things lighthearted, enjoy the moment, and take time for other forms of intimacy that nurture your relationship. This can include shared meals, long walks, or quiet evenings where you simply connect.
Tips for Staying Connected During the Journey
The journey to conception is an intimate one, and it’s natural for it to bring up a range of emotions. Here are a few ways to stay connected and bring joy to the experience:
- Create Rituals Together: Whether it’s lighting a candle, sharing a cup of tea, or practicing gentle yoga, take time to center yourselves before coming together. This can be a beautiful way to create a loving space that feels sacred and intentional.
- Nourish Your Body and Mind: Eating well, staying hydrated, and engaging in stress-relieving activities like meditation can support both your fertility and your overall well-being. Remember, self-care is an essential part of this journey.
- Open Up About Your Feelings: Share openly with your partner about how you’re feeling, and encourage them to do the same. This journey is a shared experience, and it can strengthen your bond as you move through it together.
- Take Breaks: If the process starts to feel like a chore, take a step back. Remind yourselves of the love that brought you to this point, and allow yourselves space to reconnect naturally, without pressure.
Trusting the Process
Conception is a beautiful and unique process that unfolds at its own pace. At Tourmaline Collective, we encourage you to honor that timing, trusting that your body and spirit are preparing for the right moment. This journey is about more than a result—it’s about embracing each other, the experiences that bring you closer, and the life you’re creating together.
If you have questions or want support on this path, we’re here to provide compassionate, holistic guidance every step of the way. At Tourmaline Collective, we believe in creating a nurturing space for you and your family, no matter where you are on your journey.
